My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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