you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
