i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
