Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
