come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
