So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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