I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
