I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Randomize
