I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
