I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
