So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
