Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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