awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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