I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
