Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm having to shit out rocks
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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