it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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