i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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