I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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