Your tits are I can't wait for
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
