omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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