Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
