I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
