How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
