I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
