she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
