Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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