I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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