I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
