TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
