She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
