He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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