I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
