Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
