i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
