You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
