Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
