I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
