Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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