I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
