Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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