Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
