Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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