apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
