i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
