i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
