i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
