the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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