No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
