this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
