Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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