If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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